As most of you know, I had to pick up and move from Portland rather quickly. Let's just say that was a bad situation that is now in my past, where it will stay. But although it's in my past, it put a rather large dent in my business.... one I hope goes away at some point.
Unfortunately, right after moving to California, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. She is now losing the battle. We received some very bad news yesterday.... news I won't go into here. We as a family are facing some extraordinarily tough times ahead.
My mind has been so scattered - I go back and forth between anger, and the ever-present "Why US??" all while trying to maintain my business. Quite honestly, if it weren't for medical and everyday bills, I would probably close up shop completely right now. I must go on, though. I have a beautiful child to provide for and a house to maintain. The struggle is choosing to go on with life and be that provider, or stick close to my mom and let everything else fall my the wayside. I could not feel like LESS of an adult right now.
I'm struggling more than I can tell you. The thought of losing my mom - although inevitable - is unfathomable to me. I simply cannot imagine it. She is too young, too kind, and just way too awesome for this. She's my best friend.
Many of you have become my friends, and that is why I feel I must be honest about my situation. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to hide it.
Thank you for being there for me during the last few months. My life has been a whirlwind of drama, upset, and heartbreak. I've learned a lot about people and I've found strength I didn't know I had. I will be relying on that strength to get me through the next few months.
I will be working. It gets me through the pain and enables me to pay these ever-increasing bills.
Again, thank you for being a part of my life. My days are better because of it.
|The tattoo I got for Mom|