Saturday, July 24, 2010

Mosquitos, Dexter, and Mean People

Have you seen Dexter? It's my new guilty pleasure. 

I love the opening sequence. Anyone who can make breakfast look like murder is a a-ok in my book! You should go watch it: Dexter Opening Sequence.

+------------------------------------------------- +

I'm being eaten alive by mosquitoes. Seriously. I made a repellent that  worked really, really well until the little buggers got used to it. The infestation is SO bad that when I went to the store to buy itch cream for the kids, the guy working there told me don't bother looking for itch cream, calamine lotion, repellent, candles, *anything* because they were all sold out. Eww.I hate them I hate them!


Okay, so I have a question:  WHY are people so DAMN MEAN???? I will preface this part of my post by saying -

a.) I'm totally aware I'm going to come off sounding like a cry baby

b.) I know I need to have a thicker skin and I'm working on it.

c.) I probably have no right bringing this out in a public forum.

I LOATHE meanness. It's up there at the top of the list with lying and cheating. The kids have never known punishment as bad as when they're just plain ol' mean. I think it's disgusting and is never tolerated in my [physical] world. Unfortunately, living my life on the internet now, I'm subjected to it every day. The relative anonymity of the internet has given people license to act however they please, with no conscience and no accountability. In order to stay ahead of the curve, so to speak, I read a lot of bulletin boards, forums, etc, and am constantly appalled by people's behavior - the bullying, snarky comments and clique mentality - UGH.

Some time ago, I was reading one such forum, when someone asked the question, "What little extras have you received from companies you've ordered from?" Being absolutely *notorious* for adding goodies to my packages, this piqued my interest..... People were so utterly ridiculous in their replies, some even going as far as saying that when they receive a little something extra with their order, it makes them mad. 


I think the worst part of it was seeing posts from people who have bought from ME, saying how incredibly stupid it is to receive candy, little toys, etc. I felt so bad, I actually stopped adding candy and stuff to my packages for a while. That probably sounds insanely child-like, but I guess I just felt so STUPID. 

See, something I never get to tell my customers is this: I present my product the way I do because I hope it will make you happy, if even for a moment. I want you to feel special because you *are.* I want you to smile because you got a kazoo with your order, not be mad at me because of it! My customers are part of my world - they're not just numbers or dollar signs to me. I could save a heck of a lot of money (and time!!!!) by foregoing tissue, ribbon, candy, and all the little extras, but I refuse to do it.

THEN - I unfortunately stumbled across a review of my products last night.

Oh. God.

I know that not everyone is going to love (or even like) what I do. That's the beauty of being human - the differences between us. A perfume that's ambrosial to one person may be utter garbage to another. And that's okay. 

HOWEVER, this reviewer was so damn mean when it wasn't necessary. Not only did she rip apart *every single* scent of mine she tried, she accused me of using cheap product and misrepresenting myself. Her entire blog post was peppered with insults and catty remarks. She wrote everything as if it were absolute truth. I think that's what bothers me so much - not that she didn't like my stuff, but that she made accusations that aren't true and presented them as gospel.

Such is life, I suppose. My skin is growing thicker as my business grows. I will continue to treat every single customer of mine like they're the only one, I will continue to make the best products I know how to make.

And that's that!

Thanks for allowing me to vent. Now off to work!


Anonymous said...

People are wieners. Don't take to heart what meanspirited curmudgeons say - they aren't worth it. I'm sure there are lots of people who appreciate the extra thought you give for their sakes. So here's to tooting a tune on a little kazoo. :)

The Morbid The Merrier said...

Thank you, sweetie pie!

Basht said...

There is a quote that i refer to in times like this.
"Sometimes I wish I had a pill to make people dissappear." ~Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

Some people live off attention and the only way for them to get it is to be horrible.

Hugs. I love your stuff, especially your yummy lip balms :)

Joanna said...

Lysa, You know I think you are a master at what you do, and I have reviewed tons of people. I don't say this because I like you. Which I do.

That totally aside, I think you articulated beautifully and got some shit off your chest - good! Remember to breathe. I know that I breathe shallow breaths when I think deeply and I have to remind myself to breathe. Helps. Fersure.

The third: Meanness is inherent for some. And for others like us, it doesn't even ever occur to us how to BE mean if we had time to think of a way. We have to surround ourselves with the people that make us feel good and unless you live in a hole in the ground and don't have outside contact, you and everyone else have to deal with people.

I believe that most people are good and the rest of them are just unhappy and don't feel good unless they make others unhappy.

I've been meaning to write a novel. Thanks for the space....but no, really, off my damn soapbox!


hillary said...

I happened to love your extras and found your products top notch at a reasonable price. I wrote two reviews of my love so just look at those when your down ;)
People suck. Seriously. They complain about a free meal.
That's ok because they don't know but gift horses bite b

Dee said...

I hate meanness, and I have found it's pretty much unavoidable online. I've left loads of otherwise good forums because of it.

People getting huffy about lollies and little gifts are just... I don't even know what their problem is! Whenever I get packages that include that sort of thing, my daughter lunges on them and I never see them again, so someone's certainly enjoying them!

I love your stuff, and I've no doubt you have enough repeat customers to tell you that many others do as well. :-)

The Morbid The Merrier said...

Thanks, you guys, for being so supportive. I know I need to toughen up, but it's hard some days, ya know? Thank you for making me feel better.

a. l. burke said...

Boooo mean people who hate candy and fun and awesome. I was ridiculously thrilled with the extras you sent when I got my first order from you. I totally appreciated all the effort you put into it!

Anonymous said...

People are always telling me to have thicker skin as well, but you what? I like being sensitive! I'd rather be sensitive than jaded. And the little extras are what makes the loyal customers loyal. They know you appreciate them! For every bad review you get, you'll have 10 great ones! Because you have a great product and care about your customers! Keep doing what you're doing!

PS - Speaking of kazoos, here's something that always makes me feel better, and now I pass it on to you!

keepalot said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
FuturePrimitive said...

man! you should 'out' the bitch.
Honestly, your products are heavenly and the little sweets I received with my order made me grin from ear to ear. SERIOUS.
I bloody hate 'haters' and jealous types, and nasties, and sneaks, and and and... let 'em get on with it. They'll only make themselves unhappy in the end.
Chin up x

The Morbid The Merrier said...

I've gotten so many supportive emails, and comments here. It's really changed the way I look at things. Like you, Amber Dawn, I've always tried to embrace my sensitivity, but I guess there are certain times when it just gets in the way. :-( I really feel like everyone who has commented here are my friends, and that support means the world to me.

tandphorton said...

I am so sorry to hear that anyone would be so rude about your products or service. I have to say, one of the things that draws me to your store is how unique it is. I was so suprised at the quality and the care that you took in the presentation of your products when I got them in the mail. I love opening each little "present"!!!! Some people just can't stand but to find something wrong with any and everything. Don't take it to heart!!! You and your products are awesome!!!!

This comment has been removed by the author.
These Arcane Things said...

Wotcha from yer wee pals here in Scotland (fellow eclectic firklers - remember us)?! Ach - we can't stand whiners like this - and as for anyone who has a good moan about a freebie - ARE THEY ILL?????? (Yeah,yeah - we know what they say about the Scots on that one, and we're not frightened to say it's TRUE)!!

We LOVE what you do - and carry on rummaging, Mc.Duff)!!!

Anonymous said...

I haven't ordered anything from your site...yet. I found you via an excellent review (but for the life of me, I can't remember who wrote was a soap blog, I believe). I'm a poor graduate student, so funds are hard to come by, but I knew I wanted to try something. So, I added you to my google reader, and will buy something when I need to treat myself.

I had to comment on this post because I can't BELIEVE people were bashing getting extra goodies with their order. Wow. I love getting free extras with my order (particularly samples of other products, but I heard you mention candy...which who doesn't need candy?).

I make my own soap...and I hope to be awesome enough to sell it one day, but I plan to include extras with my orders. One of my favorite soap supply companies does this...and it makes my DAY. I love them even more because of it, and I actually get bummed when I order from other places and they don't have anything. I think I order more from this company because they include extras...its nothing expensive or fancy, but it makes me feel like they care about me- their customer, and their products. It is just great customer service.

So, don't pay attention to the vocal minority. Your business practices are awesome. And I am now looking forward even more to the day I get to order something from you!

Tenshi said...

This post upset me to read. Mostly because just getting one of your packages brings a little light to my day!

When I first got a shipment from you I literally giggled with glee at the candy and adorable wrapping. I could not express how much it meant to me. After all it's rare to see someone who loves what they do so much they share that love with their customers.

What I'm trying to say dear is this. Keep doing what you are doing, because it means a lot to those of us who love your products and love your style. :)

That first package is what made me a total loyal customer, and I'll keep coming back for more because of the smiles it brings me! :)

The Morbid The Merrier said...

Opicana: You should have entered the contest!!! Argh!!!!

Daclaren said...

This is my first time reading your blog, so I'm coming in a little late on the discussion. I recently received my first order from you - just a set of five perfume samples because I love to try things before committing to the full size. :)

Anyway, I'm going to echo what basically everyone else said. Please don't let the arseclowns get to you. Some of us absolutely appreciate the extras, whether they be product samples, candy, or whatever.

I loved the presentation, too! The wax seal, the business and thank you cards, etc...kept it all. The cards will probably go on my bulletin board here at home because I love the graphics!

Even though I don't even know you, it bothers me that someone hurt your feelings like that when you certainly don't deserve it. Sure, everyone has a right to their opinions, and not everyone will like every product...but there are lots of ways to say that without being unnecessarily mean or rude.

You deserve respect for having the courage to run a business and sell products in the first place! There are a lot of us out there who think, "wow, I'd love to do something like that," but we never get the nerve to open a shop or we make the excuse that we just don't have the time. Not only are you doing it, but you're successful at it, and that makes some people (possibly including the negative reviewer) very jealous.

In any case, keep up the great work - the products, extras, packaging, etc. The combination of all of those things made my first purchase from you a great experience, and I will definitely be back. Some of us do remember and appreciate those things!

As for the others...well, as one of my favorite saying goes..."they make Midol for that." <.<

Anonymous said...

Yes, I should have...and I meant to, but my brain has been totally fried the past couple weeks (thesis writing- ugh!) and I just forgot to go back and do it.

Just wanted to comment again, so I could give credit where credit is due. I found your site because of a review done by The Soap Bar. :)

-joseen- said...

I love the little goodies you add with your package! I love sweets and as I'm international, its fun being able to get some extras from another side of the world!

Just take it all in stride, you've got plenty of happy customers out there :)

Carrie said...

I giftwrap almost everything that people purchase in my eBay store. I source lovely, high quality paper and ribbon that's inexpensive enough to giftwrap with no extra charge to the customer (it comes out of my profit margin). This has made me be very successful at retaining repeat customers.

Everything in a package with multiple purchases is carefully labeled so the buyer knows exactly which item is in which package.

Yet about once or twice a month I get someone bitching at me that they didn't want their items giftwrapped or accusing me of padding shipping to pay for it. GEeze, is it really that hard to rip open some paper off your item and throw it away?

Wood'N'Piece said...

I read that same forum thread. That really annoyed me too because I immediately thought of you and how I actually ENJOY getting a little surprise. Those candies are not available here in Australia so its such a treat and it DOES make me happy. So thank you. No meanness from me over here, Lysa.

milyykitty said...

Aw that was so sad to read, because your shop seems so honest and lovely.
And so awesome, the little presentations and all, they have a LOT of heart made to them ;-)
Can't wait to order from you very soon, but for now I will continue to plug your products on my personnal blog and show people how amazing those concepts are! <33